Relationship & Couple Counselling
Relationships are dynamic and go through stages with all relationships experiencing some degree of difficulty at one time or another whether it be with your partner, children or childhood friend. It is normal to disagree, but, constant conflict and/or avoiding disagreement can be a problem in itself. Given the basis of all relationship is friendship, recurrent unresolved disagreement is alienating and unproductive and can lead to individuals feeling isolated and lonely. It can also lead to a sense of being ‘out of love’. In some relationships we experience more conflict and distress than we need to and this can result in poor psychological and physical health.
Relationship counselling can help you to re-connect and or to achieve an amicable separation and to retain some element of the friendship with which your relationship began. This is particularly important with blended families or separated couples as collaborative and mutually supportive co-parenting can be difficult to achieve. In the objective and supportive environment of relationship counselling you can learn new ways to communicate, resolve unspoken resentments or frustrations and to move toward a more harmonious future.
Common signals of a relationship in trouble may include:
- Criticism – is very damaging to your relationship – complain, but don’t criticize. None of us like to be personally attacked, especially by the person who knows us better than anyone.
- Defensiveness – it doesn’t matter who is right and who is wrong. Let your guard down and be real with your partner.
- Contempt – contempt has been shown to be one of the most dangerous feelings in a relationship, this may be one sign to get help fast.
- Stonewalling – this is when the wall goes up for one of you and you can’t reach the other person. However, just because you are getting a blank stare doesn’t mean he doesn’t care.
- Flooding of negative feelings & attributions about one’s partner
When neutral or ambiguous signals are interpreted as negative; couples in stable relationships will hear this same thing as neutral or positive. So take a step back, be more objective and encourage each other to start giving each other the benefit of the doubt.
- Failure of repair attempts
All couples argue and stable couples know how to make up, or “repair,” when things go wrong. This is such an important skill in relationships, make sure you both can make up when things get rocky and you will be on the right track.